Keep Your Fingers Crossed

I am sitting here very nervous as I have been called into the office of the teacher who will be the Assistant Principal next school year.  For those who didn't know or who don't want to go back and read my earlier blog entries, I applied for the Assistant Principals secretary position just before Christmas. 

I finally had my interview this Monday.  I think I did pretty well.  I received an e-mail this morning from the soon to be new Assistant Principal asking to meet him in his office today during 8th hour.  8th hour just started.  I am still sitting at my desk so I don't seem to eager by showing up at his office door immediately after the bell rang. 

Either way this should be quick...either I got the job or he is telling me he chose the other applicant over me. 

Keep your fingers crossed!

Here I go...

Examine Me

I recently applied to write for Examiner.com.  My therapist, yeah, my therapist, suggested that I check out the website and apply.  I was torn between applying to write about either my poetry or being a foodie...I chose food as I've found another way to express myself through my poetry.   I received an e-mail earlier today from the Examiner inviting me to write for them based on my Poke Salad article.  I am SO excited!  My title will be Lake County Food Examiner...

My  Examiner Page should be up and running very soon!  They are in the process of setting it up so I can start publishing my articles!  I am not begging any of you, my readers, to read it, although, I AM asking each of you kindly to check it out.  No, this isn't a desperate attempt to "get" readers...well, OK, it is an attempt to lore readers and to get some positive (notice I said positive) feedback!  So, excuse the whoring tactics but I am excited and you all have been so great...

Tomorrow is going to be both great and stressful.  I finally have my interview tomorrow for the Assistant Principal's Secretary!  I am so excited, and nervous, about that.  Then tomorrow afternoon I have court with my delinquent daughter.  I fully expect her to get lectured, slapped with some fines and be told to complete some amount of community service.  But then there may be the extreme...Juvenile Detention Home.  I'm honestly, not too stressed out over court tomorrow,  BUT the thought of her going into "juvie" turns my stomach.  It actually makes me sick. 

So Valentine's Day is looking to be quite a cluster of emotional angst.  It's not much different than most other Valentine's Days, Sweetest Days, birthdays...or any other traditional gift giving holiday.  Que Sera Sera...right?!?

Today was somewhat of an emotional miasma.  Not in a bad way, but in more of an "is this a dream" kinda way.  No, it wasn't a dream.  No, I wasn't prepared for it.  However, yes, it was what I wanted no matter how much I keep denying it to myself inside my head. 

But I have one rule; don't let this happen...

Seriously...do people just not think? Or am I wrong?

This is more of a frustration posting than anything so I'll make it short and sweet.  I've applied for another position within the school district I work at recently and was supposed to have an interview this past Friday.  The position is for Secretary of the Assistant Principal.  They've appointed a new Asst. Principal for the next school year and along with that is a secretaries position.

Well, the interview was cancelled due to a sickness that day with one of the interviewers so it is yet to be rescheduled.  There were only 2 of us that applied for the position.  The other person who applied is a work friend and I do wish her the best.  She is currently the department secretary for the department that the teacher taking over the Assistant Principal's position is part of.  Did that make sense?

Anyway, from the beginning, even though I've been told she wasn't a "shoe in" for the position because she's worked with the man who will be the new assistant principal next school year, I've heard little rumors and such about her being a "sure thing".  I've ignored those rumors thus far as I've been told that I have just as much a shot at the position as she. 

Well, today, standing outside my office was the department head for the department that the other applicant works for.  He was talking about the other girl who applied for the position already having the job and that it was "pretty much already a done deal" and that they'd be looking to fill her position and stuff like that.  He was standing RIGHT IN MY DOORWAY, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DESK.  I heard everything he said and was a little upset about it.  I think most people would have been if they'd put energy into something and heard what I did.  Telling my boss and the 2 ladies I work with that I was applying for another position within the school district was a bit stressful for me so if the position was a "shoe in" I would have liked to know that up front.  *sigh* 

Of course, me, the over-reactor, goes in and talks to my dear friend about this and in turn she said this needed to be brought to the attention of the other Assistant Principal and now it's a bit of a thing.  I am supposed to be meeting with him (the other assistant principal) shortly here so he can apologize to me and then he's meeting with the department supervisor to discuss his reasoning behind chatting carelessly in the open about the position already being decided for and taken. 

My friend said I didn't over-react and that it needed to be brought to someones attention due to the lack of integrety a Supervisor showed not knowing all the facts.  UGH!  What did I start?  Do you think I've over-reacted??  Now I am feeling a little nervous.

Cluster-F**k

Clusterfuck - Military term for an operation in which multiple things have gone wrong. Related to "SNAFU" (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up") and "FUBAR" (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).  In radio communication or polite conversation (i.e. with a very senior officer with whom you have no prior experience) the term "clusterfuck" will often be replaced by the NATO phonetic acronym "Charlie Foxtrot."

I don't know how I get myself into these cluster-fucks so often and somehow pull myself out of them.  I really want this year to be different and I want to get away from all the drama.  It is literally killing me.  Most recently, my wonderful father-in-law started some crap with my 17 year old daughter.  He told her a bunch of things that I’m being told were and are lies.  He really caused quite a bit of frustration and problems. 

The problem is along with his ridiculous and mindless accusations came pent up hurt and ill-feelings on my end.  First I was upset that he hurt my daughter and that he offended her.  Secondly, I was just upset that he had the audacity to actually pull what he did.  Me, being a very emotionally driven person brought some things to light that should have just been left alone.  Regardless of my feelings about certain events or things I shouldn’t have brought “old news” back up.  I was senseless and impractical to think that any of it would be treated any differently now than it was years ago.

So I thought I ended things by proclaiming that I didn’t want to talk about things anymore but that just seemed to cause more of a problem.  I am confused because I feel like I’m being told that what’s in the past is in the past and forget about it but at the same time the past is being brought up by others and it’s OK for them to do it; but I have to get over it?  How is that fair or how does that make sense?

Anyway, what my father-in-law did was asinine immature but it also made me realize some things.  One of those things is that I sorta don’t care what anyone else thinks anymore (to a point).  Why should I because my feelings seem to mean shit so why should theirs mean any more than mine?  They shouldn’t.

Well, I discussed this with my daughter for the last time last night and we both agreed that neither of us are mad anymore; it is the past and there is nothing either of us can do to change any of it now.  She doesn’t want anyone or anything to change within the family due to what my father-in-law said.  But she did say to me, and without my coercion, that some things had happened in the past and it was very obvious what they were.  She said call it what you want but they were what they were.  But they are over and we aren’t lingering anymore.  I’m happy that she feels that way and that she wants to move forward and not let any of what my father-in-law said affect her relationships.  So it is done.  The end.

So tomorrow is my interview for a possible new position of Assistant Principal Secretary.  I am nervous but I know I interview well.  I am going to get a some sleep tonight and go into the interview confident and excited.  There are only two of us who applied for the position and the other lady who applied is a close work acquaintance.  Even thought I do want the job badly, I wish her the best and will be happy for her if she gets the position.

I am trying to come up with a good idea for the last tab on my blog.  I have been really thinking of designating it as my Jewelry page premiering the jewelry I've already made and showing some of my techniques there as well.  I need to get back into my hobby as it was a great release for me when stress stuck it's nasty head into my life.  What do you all think?