Disgusted & Miffed

So, this is more of a bitch session than anything else.  We've been having with my father-in-law that have gone further than I could ever have imagined.  We recently decided, with a little push from the condescending bastard, that we were going to move out of the home we are living in and find a place to rent a couple years and then find a small efficient home to purchase ourselves. 

Without going into great detail, back in 2007 we decided to buy a house.  Because we didn't have the best of credit (at the time) we needed a co-signer.  We stupidly asked my husbands father to help us out.  He happily obliged. 

Well, it all worked out that he would get the loans, we give him the down-payment and all our names (meaning his, his wife's, mine and my husbands) would go on the deed.  So away we went and the venture was made final and we were in our first home.  Sort of...

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I guess you could say that the situation was more like a rent-to-own type of situation as we weren't the "legal" owners of the home but we did all the work (upkeep of the yard, house, blah, blah, blah), paid the mortgages (70/30) and the taxes. 

We never once have been allowed by my wonderful father-in-law to claim any of it on our taxes nor did he give a kick back for claiming it on his as we were the ones paying for it all.  He was constantly in our faces, lives and being super controlling to the point where it started coming between us...and not in a "good" way.
Things have escalated to the point that neither of us want anything to do with him and we've made that clear unless it's absolutely necessary.  We will mail him our payments each month but it wasn't necessary to speak with him.  Well, with that came fucking Satan!  Seriously...

He began contacting my teen-age daughter and calling her leaving messages and crap like that about OUR issues with him that didn't concern her.  Then he decided to call her on New Years Ever and tell her things that weren't true about how my husband mom, sister and all the cousins didn't like her...he even made a comment about how my step-daughter, her sister, didn't like her.  WTF??? 

This is a desperate, controlling and out of control 60 year old man calling a 17 year old and crushing her emotionally...I wanted to kill him.  I really wanted to go to his home and not only give him a piece of my mind but punch him right in the mouth!  I couldn't believe he did that!

Well, with the advise from my husband and my strong desire to stay out of jail/prison, I held back from calling him or going to his home for a little visit.  I was so upset and I was hurting for my daughter who was at this time completely freaked out, offended and crushed. 

Back to the original point...so we decide a couple weeks ago to find a place to rent and leave.  My father-in-law even told us to pack our stuff and leave.  So we had all intentions of doing so. 

Well, that was until this past couple days.  We are learning that there are a whole lot of jerky tenants (and that is putting it quite mild...and if you don't believe me look here and read her story...it's unbelievable).  Because idiots decide that they don't agree with their landlords that have kindly let them rent and live in their homes, or because they are morons with no education or self-respect or just because they are jerk-offs, WE were having a hard time renting.

Now, our credit is better, we think we have a lot to offer a renter as we are clean, normal (well more normal than most), kind, friendly and willing to help with repairs and all that junk...FAT CHANCE!!!  Because of the idiots like I've mentioned above we cannot find a place to rent without someone probing our most personal information that we've never had to provide before. 

I am livid!!!  We do have pets.  We've always had pets.  We actually heard a story this past week where a tenant used the freaking hall closet at a litter box!  Really????  The floor was rotted out so bad that it fell out and you could see the basement!  Good Lord!

So, after thinking about renting once again and discussing it last night, we decided that we won't be joining the world of renting just yet.  We are going to stay where we are at, deal with my overbearing, controlling and belligerent father-in-law and just ride out the storm. 

We are going to put the house on the market, do some further additions and upgrades to make it look a bit more appealing than it already is, and then buy a place on our own with out anyone's help. 

With that, I am taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.  I mean, over 3 months out of the 9 I've been going to therapy, were about him...my dreaded father-in-law.  I am not one to back down to people, I stand my ground and stand up for myself and my family.  I am a strong woman for the most part and out-spoken.  But when it comes to my father-in-law, I feel like a 2 year old child that has been scolded for putting her hand in the cookie jar one too many times.  He is awful!

So, I want to give a shout-out to my friend Amber from the Chronicles of Amber as it looks like she's been dealing with the dumb-ass renters that have made my life difficult for 2 weeks that I can't get back!

Cluster-F**k

Clusterfuck - Military term for an operation in which multiple things have gone wrong. Related to "SNAFU" (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up") and "FUBAR" (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).  In radio communication or polite conversation (i.e. with a very senior officer with whom you have no prior experience) the term "clusterfuck" will often be replaced by the NATO phonetic acronym "Charlie Foxtrot."

I don't know how I get myself into these cluster-fucks so often and somehow pull myself out of them.  I really want this year to be different and I want to get away from all the drama.  It is literally killing me.  Most recently, my wonderful father-in-law started some crap with my 17 year old daughter.  He told her a bunch of things that I’m being told were and are lies.  He really caused quite a bit of frustration and problems. 

The problem is along with his ridiculous and mindless accusations came pent up hurt and ill-feelings on my end.  First I was upset that he hurt my daughter and that he offended her.  Secondly, I was just upset that he had the audacity to actually pull what he did.  Me, being a very emotionally driven person brought some things to light that should have just been left alone.  Regardless of my feelings about certain events or things I shouldn’t have brought “old news” back up.  I was senseless and impractical to think that any of it would be treated any differently now than it was years ago.

So I thought I ended things by proclaiming that I didn’t want to talk about things anymore but that just seemed to cause more of a problem.  I am confused because I feel like I’m being told that what’s in the past is in the past and forget about it but at the same time the past is being brought up by others and it’s OK for them to do it; but I have to get over it?  How is that fair or how does that make sense?

Anyway, what my father-in-law did was asinine immature but it also made me realize some things.  One of those things is that I sorta don’t care what anyone else thinks anymore (to a point).  Why should I because my feelings seem to mean shit so why should theirs mean any more than mine?  They shouldn’t.

Well, I discussed this with my daughter for the last time last night and we both agreed that neither of us are mad anymore; it is the past and there is nothing either of us can do to change any of it now.  She doesn’t want anyone or anything to change within the family due to what my father-in-law said.  But she did say to me, and without my coercion, that some things had happened in the past and it was very obvious what they were.  She said call it what you want but they were what they were.  But they are over and we aren’t lingering anymore.  I’m happy that she feels that way and that she wants to move forward and not let any of what my father-in-law said affect her relationships.  So it is done.  The end.

So tomorrow is my interview for a possible new position of Assistant Principal Secretary.  I am nervous but I know I interview well.  I am going to get a some sleep tonight and go into the interview confident and excited.  There are only two of us who applied for the position and the other lady who applied is a close work acquaintance.  Even thought I do want the job badly, I wish her the best and will be happy for her if she gets the position.

I am trying to come up with a good idea for the last tab on my blog.  I have been really thinking of designating it as my Jewelry page premiering the jewelry I've already made and showing some of my techniques there as well.  I need to get back into my hobby as it was a great release for me when stress stuck it's nasty head into my life.  What do you all think?