[dis-fuhngk-shuhn-l]



Who isn't dysfunctional these days, really?  I mean seriously think about that...what is "normal" anymore?  I am not the typical female of sorts, or at least I don't think I am.  Is there something wrong with me because I don't like gold?  Because I don't like diamonds?  Because I don't like roses?  Because I'd prefer a hand written poem to a bouquet of flowers and a fancy ring on a special occasion?  Wait, I take that back...I do like flowers just not your typical flowers and I like jewelry but not the kind that will cost you 3 months salary.  But is that odd?  Hand me a single calalilly and I will light up...that is beautiful to me.  In my opinion, well most of the time anyway, less is more.


I recently had a conversation with some people about diamonds and things of that nature and another girl said to me, "Maybe you just haven't gotten the right one...", meaning the diamond.  I agreed with her.  I do think they are pretty but at the same time I don't need one to remind me how much someone cares for me or loves me.  I get the entire gesture behind the diamond ring and marriage but it almost seems gross to me how so many woman base the size and cost of their ring on how much their significant other cares for them.  Does anyone agree with me on that one? 


Anyway, I don't quite know where I was going with that topic but it's something I have thought about for quite some time.  I mean, even though I don't mind getting pretty gifts of jewelry, flowers or little trinkets from time to time, it's the little things or the memories that really mean so much to me.  I can keep a memory forever where as jewelry, flowers and cards get lost, die and fade making them hard to read over time.  I know they say a diamond is forever but how many marriages or relationships really last forever anymore?  Not that many sadly.  I think they need to find a new line for the infamous DIAMOND. 



Then I ponder the age old question of why marriages fail.  Why do they fail?  Why does sex get so boring after awhile?  Why do people grow tired of one another?  Why is it that men and women cheat or stray?  Is it that humans are not meant to be monogamous?  I don't know that I really believe men and women to not be monogamous creatures but at the same time I know I've felt many times in my own relationship that monogamy might be impossible.  There are many different types of lifestyles that allow couples to explore alternatives to monogamy, such as swinging and open relationships, but does that truly replace happiness or add happiness in the relationship for that couple?  I'm not so convinced of that theory.


After having a pretty rough month I've thought about what and where happiness honestly comes from.  Is it something that derives from our own psyche or is it something administered by others around us?  I think it's a little bit of both.  I'm convinced that sometimes when we are so unhappy within our own lives and situations it takes a jolt to make you realize how unhappy one really is.  That "jolt" can be a friend, family member, a stranger, something you hear on the radio, your kids or something completely random.  I think these "jolts" are also signs from the universe telling us we either need to piss or get off the pot.  Some of these "jolts" are pleasant and some not so pleasant and they are accompanied by hurt and disappointment in not just others but mostly ourselves. 


Why do many of us grow old and find contentment in being unhappy with our everyday lives and situations and relationships?  Is religion to blame for some of this?  I thought we were in the 20th Century where the thought of divorce, separation and breaking up was more a norm than not.  I'm not saying that divorce and separation and breaking-up are good things but when you wake up one morning and come to the grim realization that your marriage or relationship is not making you happy and there are more cons than pros then why should one stay in that for the rest of their lives?  Isn't that a waist of someones life?  Isn't that a waist of love and someones spirit?  Sometimes the integrity of life is much more important than what religion dictates. 



Well, those are my thoughts for today.  If they brought you down, I apologize.  If they gave you some inspiration and helped you realize that you need to get the lead out of your ass and start living again then I'm glad I could help.  Until next time...

"She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway."
~Rob Thomas, song: 3am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Naa1HXeDQ