Showing posts with label Georgina Chang. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Georgina Chang. Show all posts

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Natural selection?

Weekend Today, March 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T2 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110326/2603COW002.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110326-0000012/Natural-selection?
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 26, 2011



PHOTO: When it comes to listening to women, men hear what they want to hear. Women generally don’t embrace selective listening. In fact, they have super hearing. Like a bat.
Artwork by YEN YOK, Copyright © MediaCorp Press Ltd
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&306&f=2261&img=2261_360476.jpg&h=450&w=306
Weekend Today, March 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T2 (The Fairer Text)




PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, March 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T2 (The Fairer Text)


When it comes to listening to women, men hear what they want to hear.

Selective listening: Why do guys practice that?

I ask because it causes cold silences and bitter fights. Yes, there're genuine cases of deafness. For instance, it's an occupational hazard for a radio DJ. After years of wearing headphones with music blasting, I'm a little hard of hearing. But I would never practice selective listening. Really.

However, I suspect most men do.



PHOTO: Men have self-esteem issues too. ‘I’m not vain, but sometimes I need affirmations about my appearance. I always tell my girlfriend she’s beautiful, but she never returns the favor’. ‘I don’t need to hear ‘I love you’ more, but a ‘You look handsome’ would be great.”
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs272.snc4/39962_423222039731_301056024731_4581437_3034496_n.jpg
http://dailybymorin.com/category/love-relationships/relationships/page/3/


How else can you explain why they didn't hear you mention that it's your mother's birthday dinner tonight and arranged to have drinks with the boss instead. (And no, it can't be cancelled because well, promotions depend on it.) Or why they didn't hear you asking them to frame the new picture or fix the broken chair leg?

It's funny, because while watching football, they can hear their phone ring and hear the sexy next-door neighbour coming home. But they can't hear you calling for them to help with washing the dishes or doing the laundry. ("I thought it was a stray cat yowling!")




PHOTO: Men can hear their phone ring and hear the sexy next-door neighbour coming home.
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs298.snc4/41248_425659464731_301056024731_4640645_76967_n.jpg
http://dailybymorin.com/category/love-relationships/relationships/page/3/


Women generally don't embrace selective listening. In fact, they have super hearing. Like a bat. Even if they're in another room far away with the door shut, they can immediately know when the kids are fighting or breaking something. They can hear their man sneaking into the house at 3am, and they can hear that bitchy colleague down the hall gossiping about them.

However, both genders are equally partial to selective telling. Now, I don't condone lying at all, but selectively omitting details sometimes makes a relationship smoother.



PHOTO: Have you ever wondered what does a man want to hear from a woman? As strange as it may seem, you can keep a man happy by complimenting him, because he has the same needs as you do, but he is not always so vocal about them. Still, they love to know that they are strong and handsome, smart and funny.
http://widbox.com/img/articles/2010/Mar/18//5-1-things-men-want-to-hear/5-1-things-men-want-to-hear-large.jpg
http://widbox.com/5-1-things-men-want-to-hear


Women will selectively tell their partners that they bought, "Only a small bag on sale" whilst the other seven big expensive bags are stuffed under the bed. And because a friend didn't like the style of these designer shoes she'd bought, she passed it to you (at purchase price). And how can you say "no" to a friend, right?

In the first flush of the relationship, women will selectively talk about their age. Selectively shaving off a few years is pretty common. And sometimes, this perception lasts for decades into the marriage.



PHOTO: “As long as you're with me, I don't need anyone else”. “I love you just the way you are”.
http://widbox.com/img/articles/2010/Mar/18/5-1-things-men-want-to-hear/relation.jpg
http://widbox.com/5-1-things-men-want-to-hear


We selectively talk about our past relationships to preserve his ego. We'll never tell him that we had 14 boyfriends before. It was only two. And we would never admit that we've been intimate with 20 men. That number is capped at five. Forever and always.

However, it doesn't apply with our girlfriends. No thing is too sacred or personal. Your size or lack thereof, your quirks and odd toilet habits are all open for discussion and analysis. We do this to get another perspective so that we can have a better understanding.



PHOTO: Men will never say that leggy girl from Marketing that you hate came along.
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//First-50-dates-50-first-dates-6864514-700-465.jpeg
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-number-one-reason-why-you-cant-get-past-the-first-date/5054/


Meanwhile, men usually selectively mention how long they're going to be out. The "I'm going to grab a bite/have a beer with the guys" actually means "it's going to be seven beers, and the only reason why it didn't stretch to eight beers is because someone's angry wife called, which broke up the session".

They also selectively omit who was there too. He'll never say that leggy girl from Marketing that you hate came along. When pressed, he'll selectively mutter, "Maybe she came with a friend, I didn't notice." True, he didn't notice her friend. But he certainly noticed the short satin skirt she was wearing with those six-inch heels.



PHOTO: “I had an erotic dream and you were in it…” If he asks you to tell him about it, say that you will show him instead!
http://s3.hubimg.com/u/2118498_f260.jpg
http://hubpages.com/hub/What-do-Men-Want-to-Hear


Their storytelling about their prowess at work, or in fights with other guys can be very selective too. You won't hear about them getting punched to a pulp or getting embarrassed or losing face at the office. Those bits are carefully misplaced or lost in favour of the bits where they constantly have clever retorts that inspire awe to everyone at the office. Or how they singlehandedly intimidated the gang of 20 thugs who ran away screaming like girls.

The statement, "I've got a lot to do at the office today", usually means they actually want to do something else that doesn't involve you. It's usually not at the office and something you'll disapprove of. Like having eight beers with the guys and maybe that leggy girl from Marketing.



PHOTO: Men prefer to hear about their appearance and performance, while women want to be told they’re wonderful and beautiful.
http://www.dating360.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/sexx-300x199.jpg
http://www.dating360.info/what-do-men-like-to-hear-in-bed/


They will selectively talk only about the aunties and chubby girls at the office. But they will gloss over the hot girl at Accounts, their hot female friend, and your hot female friend. See, that avoids friction in the relationship.

And yes, like women, the smart men will selectively talk about ex-girlfriends. If current girl didn't have any inkling of his vast dating experience, there is no need to say anything.

See, it's all about maintaining the peace and harmony at home. And there's nothing wrong with that. Right?

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 26, 2011
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.



PHOTO: The truth is that both women and men enjoy sex that feels heartening, sensual, connecting and that takes them out of their bodies and into the realm of “wow, did that just happen?”
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNdpAKDaUjvevuz7zkHXgkZc5OXYKF8iby5NrH6w4mmvShdx85L7JHehqWrEBUONldZmjIzY72G4ncIkuVJKFaxlcbkAKsYCHXtql57HFVhJEngiQ3MWcgfoRmYU7a4wJwKfzZ-VBjqRo8/s1600/iStock_000009995871XSmall.jpg
http://blogs.courier-journal.com/debbyherbenick/2010/04/26/sex-myth-women-can-have-sex-like-men/



PHOTO: Women must speak about their likes and dislikes in bed with their partners. Tell them exactly what arouses you or satisfies you in bed and men would be more than happy to offer you even more than that.



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Sunday, March 13, 2011

When ‘yes’ really means ‘yes’

Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110312/1203COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110312-0000053/When-yes-really-means-yes
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 12, 2011




PHOTO: Here’s how a guy can tell when a girl is into him. Another giveaway sign is whether she laughs at every lame joke you make ... Does she look at you adoringly as if you were Jerry Seinfeld?
Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, March 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


I'M VERY open when it comes to my feelings. If I like a guy, he'll know exactly what I'd like to do with him.

If I don't fancy him, I won't tell him that I couldn't return his SMS for months because I was trekking the Himalayas and couldn't get a signal.

There's just too many challenges in life to waste precious time playing games. The pleasurable part of courtship is spending quality time together, seeing a different perspective on life, discovering new cuisines and experiencing varied activities.

Growing and learning is better than being confused and frustrated, right?

However, I've realised that many women are less straightforward. Yes, some women like to play hard to get.

One said: "The smart woman will keep him guessing."

Well guys, even the most indiscernible woman will unwittingly display subtle signs that she's interested. All you have to do is look closely.

The most obvious indication is her eye contact. If she likes what she sees, she'll look your way often.

Sometimes accompanied by a shy smile with downcast eyes, or preening of her hair or dress.

But please don't be misled by a few glances. She could be trying to figure out why you keep staring at her with a toothy grin. Or she's shortsighted and not looking at you, but through you. Or she's checking out the cute guy behind you.

Another cue to notice is her hair. Her crowning glory reflects her emotional state. Why do you think women cut off all their hair after a bad break up?

If her hair was tied up, the presence of an attractive man would magically loosen the rubber band and her hair would naturally cascade down her shoulders.

If she keeps touching and playing with her hair, that's also a flirty sign. But to be very sure, do take a careful look at her scalp. She may have dandruff or nits bothering her.

A friend shared a quote from his "bible" called The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pick-up Artists by Neil Strauss, about tucking her hair behind her ears - but watch her palm closely. If it faces out towards you, then you're in. If it faces in away from you, then you're out and might as well try for her less attractive friend instead.


If she's cool with you, she'll also mirror your body language. Lean back, and she leans back. Lean forward and she does too. Put one hand on the table and hey presto, her hand's there. That's a great sign. Or she could be a copycat psycho. That's when you scan for signs of glazed craziness in her eyes.

You'll also notice that there's close proximity, and even frequent touching of your arm if she likes you. Yes, some women are naturally touchy-feely, but the message is in the pressure. If it's a light touch that lingers on, that's good. If it's a gentle squeeze every now and then, that's also promising. If it's a hearty slap, shift away slightly. If it's a hearty slap on your thigh, get the hell out of there.

Another giveaway sign is whether she laughs at every lame joke you make. Even though you know that was really poor material, does she go giggling uncontrollably and look at you adoringly as if you were Jerry Seinfeld? Even if you said: "Oh, those onions make me farty all day", is she chuckling away at how endearingly cute you are? (Of course, do realise that those endearing farts will be reciprocated with the darkest of scowls six months later, with not even a shadow of a smile. I'm just sayin'.)

Also, observe when she returns from the ladies. If she suddenly has more eyeliner, blusher and lip gloss on, you can be sure she's into you. Unless you were dumb enough to bring your cute friend along because you're too nervous to be alone with her. Then you should just leave your friend with the bill and the girl. (But order the most expensive dish first.)

The clearest sign is that she's happy to talk about you all night. In general, guys like talking about themselves to impress the lady. In reality, it's the most self-sacrificing thing a woman can do for you. Remember, we love a man who can just listen to us.

So if she's quietly paying attention whilst you blabber on about your NS days (which bores us to tears), your new car/computer gadget/bicycle parts/football team (which baffles us) or your hot ex-girlfriend (which worries us), that really shows her interest, affection and attraction.

And that means she's into you, dude. So go ahead and close the deal.
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:46 AM Mar 12, 2011

The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Why can’t men …

Weekend Today, February 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110226/2602COW003.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110226-0000178/Why-cant-men-%E2%80%A6
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Feb 26, 2011



PHOTO: Contemplating the deep and complex mystery that is man.
Why can’t men check out other women discreetly when they’re with us ... when your girl is next to you, show her a little respect.
Artwork by FAIZAL, Copyright © MediaCorp Press Ltd
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?450&447&f=2163&img=2163_346466.jpg&h=450&w=447
Weekend Today, February 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)




PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, February 26 - 27, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


I LOVE the company of men - I just don't understand why they do the things they do sometimes. Or why they don't do the things they could do. You know, simple things that would make us women happier - but are never done.

For example, why can't men just be romantic, for no reason? Up the romance factor not only on obligatory special occasions like birthdays. And not only because they want nookie, or because they're guilty about an indiscretion.

Instead of waiting for an anniversary, why not take us to a cosy restaurant on a random Tuesday, surprise us with our favourite chocolates, or play a Maxwell CD and simply slow dance with us? Just be romantic and sweet because you're grateful your girl got with a chump like you.



PHOTO: Romantic and Sweet


Why can't men talk about their feelings? Or about ours.

Bring it up and they look startled, and immediately start squirming away. If we persist, they try to change the subject, kiss you to shut you up, or suddenly have an urgent errand/phone call/physical ailment.

Most of the time, they prefer to keep talk restricted to the areas of sports and sex. I do enjoy these conversations, but their eyes glaze over when I start to share my feelings, or about deeper metaphysical topics.



PHOTO: Excerpts from, "A New Earth... Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle...
Seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their own innermost being, their true nature. The first recognition of beauty was one of the most significant events in the evolution of human consciousness. The feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition.
http://anecdotes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/02/21/rose1.jpg
http://anecdotes.typepad.com/anecdotes_antidotes_and_a/2008/02/red-red-roses.html


You might not have any interest in how Eckhart Toile's book A New Earth changed my life, but all you need to know is that it's important to me. Please choose to be present for that moment and just listen, and nod at the right times so we know that you're listening, that you're into our minds as well as our bodies.

Why can't guys just be friends first? If they sense they're not going to get anything out of it, the attention and development of the relationship starts to wane.



PHOTO: Start to care for someone and accept each other's flaws and ugliness, that's a great foundation for both friends and lovers.
http://fergalcasey.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/watchmenniteowlsilspectreii.jpg?w=516&h=330
http://fergalcasey.wordpress.com/page/7/


Sometimes, girls want to develop a stronger bond of trust and respect first. If we admire you, we'll develop feelings that could lead to a whole lot more.

Anyway, if you start to care for someone and accept each other's flaws and ugliness, that's a great foundation for both friends and lovers.

Why can't men check out other women discreetly when they're with us? I understand the open-mouth gawking when you're with your Neanderthal mates, but when your girl is next to you, show her a little respect.

There's really no need to stare blatantly - and definitely no need to let the other woman catch you staring.

That's disparaging to us. You're saying: "The chick with me is chopped liver."

Instead, try a little subtlety. Or get your woman to look, too. The couple who ogles together stays together, right? But remember that after we stop looking, you have to as well. In fact, it's better for your welfare if you actually tear your eyes away before we do.



PHOTO: Sweet Girl
http://static.fashion4us.com/images/fashion/detail/1mil/1hun/6ten/9000/58634a.jpg
http://fashion4us.com/wholesale-fashion-detail.action?id=58634


And when caught checking out another woman, why can't guys just admit it instead of vehemently (strongly) denying it and become defensive and angry? Dudes, just say: "Yes, I was looking. Sorry, Baby. You're the most beautiful woman to me." Jewellery accompaniment could hasten the healing process.

Why can't men be faithful? Yes, we know it strokes your ego when other ladies find you attractive, but a little restraint won't kill you.

Please decide whether those 15 seconds of gratification is more important than hurting your woman, and losing your children and life as you know it.

Why can't men confess that they were, in fact, unfaithful? Guys, we're not dumb. A woman's instinct is usually correct (unless the instincts belong to a crazy, insecure and possessive woman who thinks her man is cheating on her the moment he's out of her sight) but we usually turn an oblivious eye to it, hoping that he'll come to his senses and realise that we're the only woman he'll ever need.



PHOTO: When caught red handed, the victim seldom gets the confession she wants
http://advice.lovedetour.com/wp-content/uploads/Cheater.jpg
http://advice.lovedetour.com/mmasters/the-cheating-gene-who-does-it-and-why.html


When caught red handed, the victim seldom gets the confession she wants, like, "Yes, I've been cheating on you with Lola, the new marketing girl." Or the closure they need: "Yes I cheated on you because I'm a sex addict and you've put on 10kg."

Guys, if you're guilty and are confronted, please choose to come clean. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but we'll have more respect for you for being a man about it.

I've been told that men deny it to the very end (even when she's holding up someone else's thong she found under the bed) because they want to avoid the inevitable hysterical crying, followed by her friends and family spitting on you. But since you chose to cheat, man up and deal with it. Then move on and don't do it again.


PHOTO: Help us help you, boys. It's for the greater good. No more stray droplets on and around the throne.
 http://uppix.net/7/d/9/79ccb153266c0a62a09d38084be45tt.jpg
http://forums.blueline.ca/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=23424&start=180


And, finally, why can't men pee sitting down?

I mean, for you, it would be more comfortable - why stand when you can sit and relax? And for us, no more stray droplets on and around the throne. It's a win-win situation.

Help us help you, boys. It's for the greater good.

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Feb 26, 2011
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.


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Saturday, February 12, 2011

My sweet Valentine

Weekend Today, February 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)
From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110212/1202COW002.pdf
Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Thefairertext/EDC110212-0000179/My-sweet-Valentine
By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Feb 12, 2011



PHOTO: Boys, getting lucky on V-Day has nothing to do with roses and an annual box of chocolates
http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/cmsfileserver/showimageCC.aspx?427&450&f=2112&img=2112_341300.jpg&h=427&w=450



PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.
Weekend Today, February 12 - 13, 2011, Column, Page T3 (The Fairer Text)


I WANT to sit at home watching Family Guy on TV, and eating my weight in chocolates for Valentine's Day.

I've fantasised about doing that for a while. Sadly, my plans are often thwarted - though not because of a hot date. Quite often, something mundane comes up, like work, an urgent errand, or a crying, jilted friend.

You see, I don't think it's necessary to be out roaming the streets, clutching a few overpriced roses on Valentine's Day to prove that I am attractive, desired or wanted by someone … anyone.

It's also no fun to be subjected to a boyfriend who thinks it's cool to rebel against the commercialism by deliberately ta-powing chicken rice and watching a football match on TV. And neglecting me.



PHOTO: No fun to be subjected to a boyfriend who thinks it's cool to rebel against the commercialism by deliberately ta-powing chicken rice and watching a football match on TV. And neglecting me.
http://www.pesto81.com/images/wallpaper/lucy.jpg
http://www.pesto81.com/wall.html

Valentine's Day is about lots of chocolate, a good wine, great conversation and ending the evening with a happy glow. And that's something you can enjoy whether you're single or attached. It's not a day to judge your own self-worth by the gifts or dinners you can brag about.

So I refuse to ask my man to send beautiful flowers to my office for all my colleagues to gasp at enviously, just to prove to them that I am loved.

I refuse to ask him to take me to Il Lido for an expensive dinner, just to prove to other diners that I'm not sitting at home alone and unwanted.

I refuse to ask for a box of 24 pieces of my favourite dark chocolate truffles or a sparkling diamond tennis bracelet to prove to myself that he really does care about me.

It's not that I don't enjoy the gifts or dinner. I just don't want to feel that he only makes the effort on Valentine's Day. More importantly, I want him to treat me special every day that we have together.

I used to work at Sins chocolate boutique, and was tickled to see scores of men wander in, looking dazed and confused on Valentine's Day.

They had an end goal in mind, clearly: The men wanted chocolates because they knew that to get some sugar, they had to give some sugar.

They just didn't know what would seal the deal.

Guys, let me help you out.

You have to understand that with most women, that one annual box of chocolates isn't going to get you the candles and lovin' later that night. You want a grand gesture? Try a brand new Audi A5 or a three-bedroom
penthouse.

The other grand gesture (or so you think) of a bunch of roses will get you a smile and a pat on the shoulder.

Really, guys, it's about the build-up. The daily gestures. The frequent thoughtful acts of kindness. Give her the feeling that you would do anything to oblige her.

Like opening the car door - or any door - for her. Always offering to carry her shopping bags (but not her handbag, please). Volunteering to do the washing up. Surprising her with her favourite cake or Gong Cha bubble tea. Offering to pick her up in Tampines when you're in Jurong. Saying something nice when she's wearing a new dress, or got a new haircut.

Or just saying something nice, period.

You're a smart guy - you know what pleases women and melts our hearts. It's really not rocket science.

So why wait until this one day to frantically bear the grudging gifts to show us that you care? We know what you want, but this isn't a barter trade.

And there's still time. You can start doing these sweet small gestures for her over the next three days. It will cost far less than that Audi.

And on Valentine's Day, I've got something special to help you along.

At 10pm, Lush 99.5FM plays two hours of talk-free sexy "make out" music. That's two good hours to help you set the right ambience and mood (nice plug, I know).

Light a few candles, and chill a nice wine. Let's have good conversation that doesn't revolve around irritating colleagues, friends and family, or how to upgrade the house, car and job.

Let's share our dreams, and parley about the exciting countries we've visited and other clever things we've learnt in this lifetime.

Affirm what you find attractive about her (here's a tip: A mind is a beautiful thing) and let her know how interesting, wonderful and sweet she is.

I'm quite sure you'll be smiling before midnight.

By Georgina Chang, georginac@mediacorp.com.sg, 05:55 AM Feb 12, 2011
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.



PHOTO: Always offering to carry her shopping bags (but not her handbag, please). Volunteering to do the washing up. Surprising her with her favourite cake or Gong Cha bubble tea. Offering to pick her up in Tampines when you're in Jurong. Saying something nice when she's wearing a new dress, or got a new haircut.
http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/5434/valentinedaywallpaperoz4.jpg
http://2011-14.website.org/


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